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Mom shot me splashing in the ocean (July 1 2003)

How I remain a constant 150 pounds

16 Nov 2003

I will never forget something seemingly insignificant that I heard way back (in my adolescence) on a TV news program called PM Magazine in Charlotte, North Carolina. It said that if you use a normal blanket instead of an electric blanket, your body burns more calories.

My secrets to maintaining a 30-inch waist and a constant weight of 68 kg:
  1. When buying a Big Bacon Classic or a Rallyburger or a Big Mac or a Whopper, always hold the mayo and the cheese. Cheese is okay if you are eating at the Gatti Town pizza buffet, though.
  2. If you like to snack at work or at a movie, eat at least one little (3 ounce) bag of baby carrots for every pound of leftover Halloween candy that you scarf.
  3. The only soda you're allowed to drink is Ale 8 One, so if it's not offered at your chosen restaurant, get water or orange juice instead.
  4. Avoid exercise, unless your friends call and ask that you "please come to the ballroom dance so I will have someone to dance with; I'm begging you."  Then later, at the dance, be a crazed madman who is always sprinting across the room to dance with someone new.
  5. Most importantly: keep your house 20 degrees colder than anyone else's in the neighborhood. You will burn calories while you sleep, as long as you are not using an electric blanket.

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with no exercise and no special diet search results on Google for Brett Mason leaf vacuum truck in front of my house

BRETT BUGLE - previous entry - next entry - photoblog archive - about me