I will never forget something seemingly insignificant that I heard way back (in my adolescence) on a TV news program called PM Magazine in Charlotte, North Carolina. It said that if you use a normal blanket instead of an electric blanket, your body burns more calories.
My secrets to maintaining a 30-inch waist and a constant weight of 68 kg:
- When buying a Big Bacon Classic or a Rallyburger or a Big Mac or a Whopper, always hold the mayo and the cheese. Cheese is okay if you are eating at the Gatti Town pizza buffet, though.
- If you like to snack at work or at a movie, eat at least one little (3 ounce) bag of baby carrots for every pound of leftover Halloween candy that you scarf.
- The only soda you're allowed to drink is Ale 8 One, so if it's not offered at your chosen restaurant, get water or orange juice instead.
- Avoid exercise, unless your friends call and ask that you "please come to the ballroom dance so I will have someone to dance with; I'm begging you." Then later, at the dance, be a crazed madman who is always sprinting across the room to dance with someone new.
- Most importantly: keep your house 20 degrees colder than anyone else's in the neighborhood. You will burn calories while you sleep, as long as you are not using an electric blanket.
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